Wordsmiths July challenge
I'm glad to see the Wordsmiths back in business!
I found out a little late though; I didn't have anything but Notepad to "scribble" an idea. I think the word count should be alright but I didn't get to spell check.
Hours Devours
by
Skully
07/31/2007
I awaken to the feeling of being in a tanning bed. The heat is bearable but, I hate being covered in oil while lying on a non-pourus surface.
I have probably been in here long enough, the teltale tightening feeling in my skin is letting me know that my tan is on it's way but could soon turn into a miserable burn.
I don't remember going to the tanning bed but there is alot I don't remember from the party last night that lasted until well after sunrise. We had a great time until... something happened... Oh well, it was just another crazy night with my friends, as usual.
Still I think I remember something, I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach...like guilt or the remembrance of fear.
The lights are strange, thousands of tiny lights...wierd.
The lid won't open on this damn thing; what the hell kind of tanning bed is this?
It's been fucking hours...or days! I know I've been unconcious, more than once. Maybe something bad has happened, a disaster or..., but the power is still on, I'd think that it would be off if...
My skin is literally burnt to a crisp. Every breath brings more pain as it cracks from each movement.
The smell of the oily spray that shoots out from between the lights at intervals has become unbearable. A sent of vinegar, olive oil and spice; my eyes are burning, I am burning.
A blinding light intervenes; I swear I see a woman, she looks so big, what a nightmare!
I'm passing out again...
The music is very loud, I hear the chatter of many people and smell wonderful food! I am so hungry, so thirsty, so... I'm not in the tanning bed anymore, there is no light. I am laying on someone...another person! I hear screaming and moaning...GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I'm passing out again...
A metalic clang is ringing in my ears as bright light sears my swolen, burning eyes. The woman is back and she is looking at me, I am naked, I hurt so badly...she is so big...I don't understand... Her voice is loud...she is huge!
"They're best when their are fresh and jumping", she giggles.
The woman has a large piece of wood, she is so big, OH MY GOD! I understand now as the huge woman pierces my gut with the large wooden pole, I am lifted into the air and lifted from my misery.
5 comments:
Yikes! That was delightfully disturbing.
Why was the woman so big?
Some explanation would be nice. I think that while our victim was partying, he and his cohorts were magically carried away to the "Land of the Giants" and made into tasty marinated treats for a GIANT dinner party.
I was waiting for him to be probed by aliens. Heh.
Loved your take on the picture. So very macabre.
You're wel within the word cont too at 411 spent. You've got room for explanation if you want to.
Ew EEEWWWWW!
I was slightly confused as to whether the woman was a giant or the person had turned into some kind of animal or fish or something.
Very nicely done with the confusion, etc.
I would think there'd be more screaming, though :)
Loved it!
Icky. At first I though he was going to be raped, not eaten. Nice touch.
I would eliminate all ellipses... Use other punctuation... Use description to replace them...
I agree with Tiff: room for more description and action to flesh out his narration.
Post a Comment